This will probably be a long one

So, I have been reading this book called "Drawing Down the Moon" about druids, goddess worshippers, pagana and so on. It has totally got me thinking about the times we live in, especially after reading about this very far out "religion" called Feraferia. It talks a lot about Utopia, nature living, small communities, peacefulness between humans and animals and technology. Technology is interesting to me. The man who started Feraferia is not in cahoots with technology or cities. It got me thinking about blogs. Who is going to be able to read these in the future? Will they all be wiped out and deleted? Where will all of this information go? It is not like a diary that lasts and can be put into print, like say Frida Kahlo's amazing diary. Future humans are probably not going to find "relic" blogs to publish about history and famous people. It makes me think that I should probably be writing, and I mean ACTUALly writing in a journal as well as on here. I understand the need for technology and use it every day, but it really takes us away from actual life. I like books way better than the internet, but the internet has virtually (whoa, no pun intended) taken over the world of books. People put stories and books online now. Instead of researching a lot of things at the library, we turn to Wikipedia and other online sources. I just do not feel completely confident in our technology crazed world. I have not even gotten a digital camera for fucks sake. I have so many pictures on my computer that I feel will be lost in the eternal abyss of my crappy hard drive someday.

The idea of cities is also another idea these people talk about. They call for smaller communities with more food, less people and no animal agriculture. For the past few years I have been sort of yearning to live on some piece of land in the woods by a river where I grow my own food and live with like minded people. A commune, I suppose you could say. But this idea never really manifests and it may just be because I have not tried hard enough. Also, i do like some of the perks of living in a larger urban area. But every time I go to San Francisco, I cannot possibly imagine living in a space like that where so many people are crammed into such a small area. Its overwhelming and unpleasant. Everything is so smooshed there, if you know what I mean. And its dirty and loud. I used to think I wanted to live there and am not glad I never made that move. What are we doing, being so seperated from each other and nature? We need to get back to our wildness.

I think I should be a Buddhist-Pagan. And maybe throw in some ancient egyptian mythology into the mix. Oh yes, and faerie magic.

Besides from all of these hectic thoughts in my mind, everything is going pretty well. The figure drawing class was fun. I made money, drank wine and met some interesting local artists. One of the guys even gave me one of the pictures he drew of my body. I went to a good show at the Blue Lagoon last night with some awesome local bands like The Spurts, Depth Charge Revolt and Sheena (although I missed this last band). Depth Charge tore up the stage and put on a really good show. The Spurts were really fun.

Peace, my friends.

Moon Rocks

This weekend, my friend Chris took me up this place called the Moon Rocks. It is off of a street called Ice Cream Grade. Not joking. Best street name ever. This place was so awesome and beautiful. It is a bunch of big limestone rocks. We climbed up to the tallest one and watched the end of the sunset which had created the most beautiful colors EVER. It was truly amazing. Then the stars came out and we saw like 3 shooting "stars". One of them was the longest running one I had ever seen. And since we could see stars, that meant it was dark and I had to climb down these rocks and we had one flashlight. It was one of those wind up flashlights that does not need batteries and I somehow ended up breaking the winder part off of the flashlight, so making it wind up and get brighter was really hard. Did I mention I have a weird fear of walking in the dark? Well, I do and its pretty intense so this was pretty scary for me. And we got lost. In the dark, in the woods. Then when we got out to the street, we both felt like we were being watched and I just kept thinking a mountain lion was going to jump out and eat my face off. But the beauty of the place and nature definitely overtook the scary parts. I would do it again in a heartbeat. This area is so damn beautiful in so many ways. The ocean, the cliffs, the redwoods, all of the foresty parks. It is quite breathtaking. Once I move out of this house, I want everyone to come visit me.
Later that night we ate carrot cake, drank wine and watched dumb and dumber. What a good day!

It has been so hot here. I went to the beach on Friday and splashed around in the ocean. It was like 85 degrees. And it lasted until yesterday. Today seems a little cooler, but it is still warm and sunny. It is sooo odd to be hot in November and even more odd to be playing on the beach. Its just what I wanted!

Tonight I will be modeling for a figure drawing class for about 3 hours. I have to be quite still and some of the poses are 45 minutes long. But they are reclining poses, so I may just fall asleep. But I think I get wine and get to listen to jazz, so it should be a nice evening.

Peace, love and harmony, my friends.

Aw, shit yeah

Everything is okay on the homefront. Landlord and I had a little talk. He is still a dumbass, but he is an unhappy grumpy man, so I feel kinda bad for him. I hope I still rule when I'm older, unlike him.

I'm sick. Its really stupid. This is the second cold I have had since moving down here. That aint right. Perhaps it is the climate and life change. Stress and change have a major effect on me.

Its almost full moon. I love love love full moon time. It makes people all crazy. It looks beautiful times 12. Its powerful. I saw Starfucker last night at the Crepe Place. They are from Portland, majorly. It was like I was there, in PDX. When I first came in the bar, there was this kid sitting at the bar and he had this pink sweatshirt on and I said to my friend "I bet that kid is in the Portland band" and sure as shit, he was. They were in full Portland regalia. I think I can use that word in that context. They were a super good band, very fun, danceable and they made me feel like I was in Portland for a little while. Nothing wrong with a little nostalgia. Kudos to Starfucker.
Mountain Animal Hospital played as well and they played damn well. And I'm not just saying that cause they my friends, I saying it cause it true.

Shit, son. Go listen to some Dead Daughter on Myspace. We will fuck your lives up. Then listen to the Big O. Your mind will spasm. Today one of the little boys I babysit said Tyranarexasaurus. It was awesome.

Ugh

Times is a gettin' hard. This is the first bad post I've had to post. I CANNOT STAND my landlord, who lives in the house with me. NEVER live with your landlord. Seriously. I wont get into the specifics, but he has been being a total ass, which has led me to give my notice. I suppose it is not all bad, because I have been contemplating moving anyway, but I wanted to wait to see what was going to happen with the Tannery. Apparently the Universe wanted me out of here a little sooner than I expected. Maybe the universe could also supply me with a job....

Hopefully the no "real" job thing will not prevent me from finding a place to live. I really need a job. I have to stop hating jobs so that my energy changes and can bring one to me instead of repel it. Hopefully I wont be homeless. Although the chances of that are slim, as I do have friends around here. I think stress is starting to make me sick. I am trying to combat it.

I ate a yummy berry crepe with homemade whipped cream today at the Crepe Place. And I did not have to pay for it. That rules. Sometimes photo shoots are nice, even when they are just trade basis, because I usually get fed or at least get a warm drink! And a photographer that I have worked with a couple of times on trade has found me multiple jobs being a model for figure drawing classes.

I went to see the midnight movie at the Del Mar theater for the first time last night. It was Jurrassic Park and it was awesome. Next week is Dead Alive and I am extremely excited about that. The gore in that movie is crazy.

I guess not all is bad.

Oh, Jen

Lovely Jen reminded me that I need to write in this here blog more. And she is right! Don't start a blog and then not write in it!

First things first, the post office has lost my mail. Yep. They never forwarded it to me and now it is lost in the ether. I have to go stand in line AGAIN and make ANOTHER complaint. My dad is a postman. This shouldn't happen to me.

Recap-Halloween was awesome. I got more drunk then I had been in awhile and still managed to make friends who still want to talk me! I was a sexy fairy, cheerleader, disco dancer, vampire, pro wrestler. My friend Chris was Dr. Rockso(?) from some Adult Swim cartoon and I did his helluv creepy clown make up. I could barely look at him all night, I did it so well. We went to a party way too early, so then we went downtown. I felt like I was in Portland. There was a parade of burning man looking stilt walkers parading down the street with mobs of people everywhere. The police were out in full force, mainly because they last few years, people have been stabbed. Two of said stabbed people were my roommates friends and he watched one of the stabbings go down. Yuck. So, the party ended up being great. I told many girls they looked pretty, told one guy I was going to bite his neck, danced, watched bands and drank Sake at the end of the night what I SHOULD HAVE STOPPED. I have not had a hangover in a while and it sucked balls. The pictures above are from a spontaneous Halloween shoot a photographer and I did the day before halloween. It was super fun.

I have applied to live in a new arts apartment complex. It is called the Tannery. Check it out on the web. I want to live there REALLY BAD. I have found some people to sign up for one of the 3 bedrooms so our chance of getting in is way higher. Plus I can be on the studio and 3 bedroom lists at the same time. Hells yeah.

The modeling has been going pretty well. Mostly trade work right now, but I actually made enough last month from modeling to pay the rent. Sweet! Looks like being born to pretty parents has paid off.

Every day I am excited to be here, even though I barely have any money and cannot find a job! I really like this place and am hoping with all of my hope cells that I find some work soon. Please send a message out to the universe for me. All help is appreciated.

Did I write about how the Shaky Hands were here 2 weeks ago? Cant remember. Well, they were and they stayed at my house for 2 nights and played at the Crepe Place. It was great to see some Portland people and hang out with them on the beach. I truly enjoyed it. Now they are in need of some help. Somehow their tour ended in Austin, but they live in Portland. If you know of anyone who would like to have them play anywhere between Austin and Portland, find them in my friends on Myspace and let them know. They really need the help!

There is not a cloud in the sky today and it is gorgeous. I love you all. Dont forget to eat lots of raw fruits and vegetables.